Currently...

Two posts in one night... eh, what the hell.

I guess since I'm going to be writing about my life, I should probably tell you what's going on in it (ha! like I even know!)

Just a small town girl... living in a lonely worl- no. 

I'm from Ohio. No cornfields, just really uppity and suburban. I've been here my whole life, born and raised. 

I graduated high school last year... holy crap, last year? A YEAR? 

I was new at my school my senior year, actually. I sort of bounced around a couple schools trying to find where I was happy. So, my last year of high school, I settled at the school where my mom teaches. More urban, totally run-down, and a lot free lunches and IEP's. Well, I met a boy there. A boy named Andrew. And you can probably guess, I fell in love with him. He was my friend's boyfriend, actually. We had a few classes together and one thing led to another, of course... although, that's a story for another day.

I graduated with 3.6 GPA and I had the best senior year anyone could possibly ask for. Considering all my other years of high school sucked, I think I earned it. After I graduated in May, it only got better from there. Andrew and I officially started dating in June and spent the summer together. 

   This was us in the summer... look at me smiling like a goofball! Dawwwh!

Summer came and went with somewhat remarkable speed and I left for college in August: Bowling Green State University. I spent 9 months pining over this college, decorating my dorm room in my mind, dreaming about crazy parties and interesting classes and new people and absurd amounts of collegiate hoodies. I was beyond excited. BEYOND ready.

Well, I hated it. 

Every single thing about it. Turns out my dorm was nasty and full of other peoples' hair, the people on my floor were awful, I had no privacy, and I could never sleep. Parties were just a bunch of drunk people passed out on old couches in gutted little townhouses... oh, and beer pong tables... Classes were sort of interesting; the people were not. Although, there was definitely an absurd amount of collegiate hoodies, that I nailed. I could pick out little things I didn't like about it, but it was really just an overwhelming feeling that I didn't fit in and that it wasn't what I dreamed about.

It wasn't home.

Andrew left for college in September. He drove 8 hours to Mooresville, North Carolina to go to NASCAR Technical Institute. As you could probably guess, he's a car guy. Andrew is 6 days younger than me and worlds smarter than me. He's not a grease monkey; you can usually find him wearing a Ralph Lauren polo and Sperry's, donning a nice watch, standing in front of his 1996 convertible Mustang GT. He didn't go to car buildin' school because he didn't have any other options; he went because he just loves cars. Turns out, it didn't really feel like home for him either. 

I told Andrew how much I hated BGSU and I cried to him some nights about it. He was very patient with me. One night, he suggested that I move to North Carolina with him. And I could go to UNC... or something. (All I heard was the "move to North Carolina with me" part.) So I finished my semester at BGSU with a 3.8 GPA and I left for NC with Andrew's best friend with my bags packed.

This was my dorm room the day that I left... barffff

....It didn't work out. Our parents hated the idea (can you blame them?) and they brought out the big guns to stop it at the last minute. So, I moved back in with my mom... wondering what my next move would be. 

Although it caused a bit of heartache, Andrew and I stayed strong... long distance has been pretty good to us. When I went home, I got a job and now I work full-time. I applied to another college (fingers crossed on that acceptance letter!) And I'm looking into apartments. Andrew graduates in the summer. He decided he would move back to Ohio for me, get a job, and we could live together while I go to school. 

I have 6 months from now until August before I (hopefully) go back to school. I have about 4-ish months until Andrew (hopefully) graduates and moves back. In the meantime, I'm working, saving money, visiting him when I can, and hoping I find a place to call home soon. 

This is my life, and although right now it is one enormous hiccup, I'm still happy and I know I'm going to be okay. I feel directionless, lost, and a little stuck at times... and I will write about those times... but I'm hanging on to my optimism.What else can I do? I'll get it right soon, I have time. 

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

Clarity

Introductory Post!

Hello Internet,

uhmmm.... what do I say?

Well, this is awkward.

I don't quite know what I'm here to say. I'm here to write, to talk, to think, and to share my thoughts on the most public forum known to man. (Everyone is like "oh god, one of those girls. Exit window.")

But seriously, I'm here to open up. I'm 18, I'm in college (sort of), I have a long distance boyfriend... and a bunch of other interesting things. Maybe you'll find something you can relate to, but most likely, you'll get a good laugh out of my misadventures. I know I do.

My name is Clarity... which is very ironic because I don't seem to have much clarity on much of anything these days. But maybe getting it all out in writing will help me find it.

This is the pilot episode, I suppose.
Over and out.

Clarity